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The New Weeaboo Stories
Welcome to the New Weeaboo Stories, picking up where old Weeaboo Stories Left off!
Please read the rules before submitting your stories, thank you! ~ Mod D
Submit Anon: I didn’t think there were actually people like this
For the most part the cosplay/congoing community in my area has decent people, I’ve never had a problem with anyone personally. But this one guy, oh lord. I’ll refer to him as E since he’s obsessed with Edward Elric from Fullmetal Alchemist, to the point where he pretends to be the character.
E used to claim he was 19, then changed it to 22, but is clearly older. I’m not a great judge of age but I’d put him in his late 20s at the youngest.
He creeps on every female cosplayer he finds, even if he barely knows them he comments on everything they post with quotes from his favourite anime characters. He’s been caught following girls around at cons to stare at them from a distance, he’s done this to me a couple times as well.
He cosplays a bunch of shounen protagonists who always have a harem of well-endowed women around them, in hopes that the same thing will happen to him- he talks like he’s i n an anime too, phrasing things really oddly and unlike anything someone would say in real life. People who know him have said it’s like he doesn’t realize life isn’t actually an anime.
The Great Weeaboo Contest
WEEB 1, M: Patchy neckbeard stubble, long emo-style hair. Trademarks were a giant beanie he wore everyday 100% covered in pins with meme faces on them, and carrying around an electric guitar and gigantic speakers around school so he could set them up in the middle of random hallways and play a few chords to try to impress everybody. The rest of him was covered in goth/rave gear- tshirts with anime or metal bands on them, tripp pants, always the same pair of beat-up Vans he had drawn meme faces all over. Common habits were shouting out memes that no one had cared about since 2007- You Mad Bro, The Game, etc.
Was convinced he was the greatest voice actor of all time, and bragged about how popular he was online (last I checked his most popular video had a couple hundred views at most.) Also bragged he was close personal friends with Vic Mignogna because he’d gone to a couple of meet and greets.
WEEB 2, S: Tried to fit in but dressed like an overgrown 12-year-old with greasy hair. Wore cat ears a couple of times, everything she owned was covered in anime stickers.
Was going through a bad “lol so random” phase, would shout “BUBBLES!” at top volume several times a day.
Thought she was a great manga artist, copied my style and characters several times. She’d always ask for my advice on how to make her drawings better, but would make excuses or blow me off whenever I tried to offer suggestions.
I have more stories about both of them but for now, you get the picture.
THE RIVALRY: M and S hated each other’s guts, for various reasons. This had been going on for a couple of years before I knew either of them, each had stories of horrible things the other had done/said about them- it was a big “he said, she said” thing that I stopped paying attention to after a while. I mostly chalk it up to them both being very full of themselves and not liking when the other got attention and they didn’t.
THE CONTEST (ROUND 1, FAITO!): M and S were both obsessed with the anime Black Butler, and both of them cosplayed the main character Sebastian. Each was convinced that they made the perfect one, and that the other was terrible.
It all came to a head when they got into an argument about who pulled him off better, so they decided to have a contest to see who could do the character’s signature bow the best. This contest was judged by their friends, a group of younger weebs who all sat together at lunch.
In the end S won, even demonstrating it several times for everyone who would listen to her tale of victory. M was momentarily shamed, but bounced back quickly to brag about how he was a better voice actor than S.
THE AFTERMATH: M’s and S’s hatred for each other got worse, to the point where they would refuse to be near each other. Wh enever one entered the same room, the other would huddle underneath the nearest table in an “L from Death Note” position, not responding to anyone and only coming out when offered Pocky.
M was in his second run of senior year when I was a freshman, he graduated the year after we met and I lost contact with him- I don’t have any wish to change that.
S graduated the year after that and remains a friend of mine. She’s grown more mature and is less “random,” although her art hasn’t improved (she dropped out of the local arts college after less than one semester) and she still wears cat ears at times, although only to conventions.
Overall they were both pretty harmless and never hurt anyone to my knowledge, I just found this one story chuckle-worthy.
i hope photo posts are ok because wow, this just actually happened
Weeb – Tifa
Neighbour – Chris
Chris’ husband – Jason
Tifa’s mum – Mrs A
Tifa’s dad – Mr A
I was in two minds about posting this, but then I read the story about Kitty (the creepy weeb who got caught drawing porn of her cousin and his boyfriend), and I got chills. It’s eerily similar to this one.
I grew up in a very wealthy suburb of a large city in the UK. I’ll be the first to admit that I come from a rich family—not billionaires, but wealthy. I went to a private school and money was never really a concern. Although I’m an only child, my parents always made sure I was never a spoilt brat, and they’re not really that extravagant. Anyhow, around 2005, when I was ten, two American guys moved in next door. I’ll call them Chris and Jason. Chris is an accountant (which is always funny to remember, because the guy’s g ot long hair, a beard, several tattoos, and rides a Harley—he looks absolutely nothing like an accountant) who works for some big multinational, and they had moved him over to the UK branch in this city. They’re both great guys. As far as I’m aware, no-one’s ever given them any grief about their domestic situation, which is good. I’m glad.
And then, in 2012, Tifa arrived.
In the summer of 2012, I was seventeen. This was sometime around late July, not long after the schools had broken up for summer (I’d broken up earlier on in the month—private schools have longer holidays, in the UK at least). I believe Tifa was about thirteen. Like me, she was an only child, but unlike me, her parents didn’t seem to have bothered trying to stop her from ending up as a spoilt brat. They were stereotypical ‘new rich’: obnoxious, flashy, vulgar and loud. Obviously, not everyone who’s ‘new rich’ is like that, but th at’s the stereotype, and these people fit it to a T. Not long after they arrived, one of our neighbours threw a barbecue, I believe to celebrate the Olympics, and pretty much the entire street was invited, including Tifa and her parents. Her parents were both rather snobbish and unpleasant; Mr A spent most of the barbecue talking to someone on the phone, while Mrs A sat around making the most unbelievably passive-aggressive remarks. Meanwhile, Tifa had sort of latched onto me (I was the closest to her age group), and trying to be friendly, I decided to talk to her. The reason I’ve nicknamed her Tifa is that she was obsessed with Final Fantasy VII, and do I mean obsessed. I said I’d never played any of the Final Fantasy games, but I was curious to try them at some point. I asked her what she liked about Final Fantasy VII, thinking I might, if I got the chance, try it out myself. Mistake. She instantly started gushing about how cute a nd sugoi the male characters were and how much she looooooooved drawing FFVII yaoi. I was sort of acquainted with yaoi, but the only description I could have given you of it (at the time, anyway) was ‘gay anime and/or manga porn’. While I loved video games, and still do, they tend to be more towards the World of Warcraft and Elder Scrolls end of the spectrum. About halfway through the barbecue, Tifa ran into Chris and Jason. The one thing that tends to make them stand out (apart from the accents—Chris is from Virginia and Jason is from Texas, so they have fairly distinctive accents) is that they’re a bit more demonstrative than the average married British couple. I mean, they don’t walk around tongue-kissing or anything, but they’re quite cuddly and physical. Not obnoxiously so, just…affectionate. They were there with their adopted kids, who were still young at the time (under ten), so I really hope Tifa didn&rsquo ;t say anything inappropriate. Looking back, I should have put two and two together, and maybe even taken Chris and/or Jason to one side and quietly told them that Tifa was juuuust a little too interested in gay/bisexual guys, but for some reason I didn’t think of it. Whatever, it must have been the heat.
About two weeks later, I was returning home from somewhere. I saw Tifa sitting on the front lawn of her house, drawing something. I stopped to say hi and asked her what she was drawing, and, with the biggest smile in the world, she turned her sketchbook around so I could see. Unsurprisingly, it was extremely explicit yaoi, and I honestly didn’t know what to say. It wasn’t even very well-drawn. And I could have handled that, had it not been for what she’d said next.
“Do you like it? It’s Chris and Jason!”
OH MY GOD. Holy fucking shit. She was sitting on her front lawn, happily drawing two of her neighbours fucki ng. I just walked away and went home. I was planning on telling my parents the next day, but before I could, shit well and truly hit the fan.
It was a Saturday morning. Calm and peaceful—or so it seemed. I was downstairs in the front room, watching TV with my dad, when we heard yelling. Now, considering that I grew up in the sort of neighbourhood where someone breaking a bit of their fine china is big news, yelling was a big deal. Yelling usually meant something big was going down, and this time, friends and neighbours, it was.
We went outside to see what was going on. Chris was over the road, standing on Tifa’s doorstep, yelling at Mrs A. Mrs A herself was doing quite well in the yelling department, and I could just about see Tifa behind her. Eventually, Mrs A slammed her front door, and Chris marched back across the street to his own house. My dad caught him and asked him what had happened.
Apparently, Chris was getting ready to go grocery shopping when Tifa had run across the street to him with her sketchbook. He had said hi, and she had, in return, opened up her sketchbook to show him the horrible, horrible drawings she had done of him fucking his husband. When she told him it was him and Jason (honestly, the art really wasn’t that great, and it hadn’t been inked or coloured or anything, so you couldn’t actually really tell who it was), he’d gotten pissed. He’d walked her back over to her house and confronted Mrs A about it. Mrs A, refusing to believe her darling daughter could do such a thing, had accused Chris of lying. When he showed her the drawings, she said they weren’t of him and Jason.
I know Chris considered pressing charges of some sort, but ultimately didn’t. In his own words, Tifa was just ‘a stupid kid’, and he hoped she would grow out of it. Tifa went to the same school as me for a while, but she was eventually expelled for consistently bad behaviour (attack ing other students etc.). Her and her parents moved away about a year and a half after the yaoi incident.
Thats the wrong sport!!
Me - Takeshi
Cousin - Tetsuya/tetsu
Friend - Koushi
Weeb - Weeb
Okay so to start this off I’m half Japanese and at this time the 3 of us were visiting my mom who lived in the states (we lived in tokyo)
We often hung out at the mall cause they had a japanese market and a lot of the vendors were japanese so koushi and tetsu liked that since they didnt know much english. koushi and i were into anime/manga like most of the kids our age and they had some cool stores that sold that stuff but what the 3 of us liked was that each of our names were names of a character that was somehow involved in sports so we sorta bonded over that because we all played a sport. We thought it would be funny if Tetsu to dyed his hair light blue (tetsuya from knb) and since the school year had ended at that point he was down with it.
So we were walking around as and at one point Tetsu got separated from us and the market was a fai rly busy place so we were sort of scared and started calling for him, He had light blue hair so we found him kinda quickly but i guess that also led Weeb to find him as well. About a few seconds after we were reunited Weeb walked up to us didnt even introduce herself and basically asked us (very loudly) “ARE JAPANESE??”, now i was already kinda used to this sorta behavior since i lived in the states for sometime but Koushi and Tetsuya were not familiar with this type of behaviour and were visibly startled so they were both sorta struggling to decode and answer what she asked so i answered “yes” on behalf of the 3 of us. she basically went with the whole “wow thats so sugoi you guys are so kawaii!!” sort of thing then she asked us our names.
So we told her and she let out the biggest screech when it came to Tetsuya and she immediately asked him if that was his real name, if he was cosplaying from knb etc. (remember light blue hair) and i e xplained to her that it was sorta an inside joke and how our names had something to do with a sports character which i really shouldn’t have done but it was after i explained it that i realized the bag she was holding was full of sports anime merch and a couple hit-man reborn key chains and that was pretty much the point where i just dug 3 graves. So she got even more exited and asked us if we played the same sports as the characters, which we then told her that Koushi played baseball, I played Volleyball and Tetsuya was in Kendo.
After that she got really upset and started making a scene about how “Koushi should be in volleyball!! Takeshi should be in baseball!! and Kendo isnt even a sport i’ve never heard of it!!” this scared pretty much all 3 of us but mostly Tetsu and Koushi since they couldn’t understand half of what she was saying. I’m fairly polite person but i sorta snap and get defensive when i feel embarrassed and the rant she was ma king made some people stop and stare at us so at that point i was beyond embarrassed and more annoyed and i ended up yelling at her to “shut up and fuck off” which had made her shut up but she started crying and making a bigger scene by saying “you guys are all bakas you’re not kawaii at all!!“
after that we didnt really run into her we sometimes caught a glimpse of her but we normally started to jog away and after that they didnt want to visit my mom again
weeb class from hell
September of last year, I was really excited to go back to school because I got accepted into a video game design class and I was super stoked. I was so happy to be there on my first day but right from the beginning, the entire class experience was horrible due to all the weebs attending.
I’m an anime/manga fan too so I didn’t mind too much at first! I won’t go into detail about every classmate since literally all of them were weebs of varying levels, but a few of them really made me not want to go back.
Firstly, there’s M. She was in college (I was in high school at the time), but she looked and acted like she was maybe 11 or 12. Her hair was super long and greasy and she wore the same 2-3 anime shirts over and over, and sometimes literally wore FULL COSPLAY to school for no reason whatsoever. I admired her bravery at least. I started talking to her because I was excited to meet another anime fan and was surprised that we shared a lot of interests, and she could be really funny sometimes. We both shipped souji/yosuke from Persona 4 and she got pretty creepy about that, she started calling me Souji instead of my actual name and demanded that I call her Yosuke in return (in front of everyone), and would show me nsfw pictures of them and say “Look, it’s you and me!”. She was very clingy and always wanted to hug me or hold my arm or do weird childish things to get my attention (one time she STOOD BEHIND ME for 10 minutes and meowed at me until I would acknowledge her). M also liked to get pity for the smallest of things and she constantly made up stories. One time, a door lightly smacked her in the arm and she complained about it for days on end, to everyone in class, multiple times. She was like this with almost everyone. I was pretty uncomfortable, but it was tolerable for the most part. After a few months she got worse.
The Satanspawn Weeb
Warning: some sexual harassment and violence. It’s gonna be a bumpy ride.
Me: anon: short Japanese girl, 22 at the time, large breasts (important to the story) bisexual
Let’s begin. So I’m at a con, 4 days, and I’m in a sweet rouge from x-men cosplay. Brawn is collosus, Jess is Jean gray. So in sitting eating lunch while everyone else is gone. Then this sloppy looking guy approches me in a hentilia cosplay (I don’t watch so I don’t know who it is) it’s satan. So he compliments my cosplay, even though he doesn’t know the character. I say thanks, and then we start talking. He had all the red flags out, and when I leave, he follows me like a stray dog. So when brawn see’s this, he flips shit and curses like a drunk Irish sailor who had his leg chopped off. Satan leaves, and then we browse the selection. Later, when I’m alone, I feel someone “glomp me” and I fall to the hard ground. I start yelling, and guess who it is? Anyway, then he apologizes, I accept, and that’s all that the con had to offer to the story.
Felt up and stalked by vocaloid weeb
Hello! this is my first entry here and I’m not quite used to writing things like this so do forgive me for any punctuation errors! <3
I am going to tell you about a girl, she is not the first weeb I have come across but damn.
Weeb - WB
Myself - Me, Myself and I
Friends - A,B
Okay so this story takes place in 2012 during the weekend of my second local convention, it’s a relatively small location in Flordia at the university’s students union (basically where students hang out and can buy their essentials, there is also a bar and concert stage in the building).
I was staying with two of my friends; friendA and friendB as it would be easier for us to arrive together, anyway that’s unimportant. We all arrived pretty early to collect our passes and priority bags, I noticed a girl that had been following us from we first got out of the taxi outside the building. She was cosplaying Hatsune Miku, I mys elf was cosplaying Len Kagamine which was my third ever cosplay! FriendA and FriendB were cosplaying also, FriendA was dressed as Konata from lucky star and FriendB had put together a very amazing Ben Drowned cosplay from the well known creepypasta. At first we assumed she wanted a photo so we turned, bad mistake. “Len-kunnn!” she screeched at the top of her lungs and threw herself at me, hugging me tightly (enough to hurt) and picked me up, keep in mind I was only thirteen at the time and had never met this girl before in my life so this was terrifying for me!
InuYasha Obsessed Weeb Pretends She’s Going To Kill Me
I will admit I was a weaboo in the past, but I am far past that, now. This is a story from when I was a weaboo, though, and this crazy ass friend I had.
So, as follows:
B-Friend, slightly weaboo
A-Crazy weaboo friend who tried to ‘kill me’
I met A through my friend B in middleschool. B and I were kinda weaboos, and we were really into InuYasha. So B is like ‘you will like my friend A, she totally loves InuYasha’
But it got even weirder. A told me she was really the reincarnated spirit of Kikyo and that InuYasha was real, it was just in another dimension. I kind of was like 'okay yeah sure’ like I didn’t fight on her on it. And she told me that I could be one of them too, because she was a witch and she had a spell book. So she took out her 'spellbook’ and was like 'who’s soul do you want’ and I was like, idk, Kagome I guess.
Seen this photo while cleaning the Computer Lab room in our local college. And yeah weeaboos are infesting the IT department as I post this(bad joke I know).
All real-life names have been changed.
Carly was my friend from childhood. She moved to Colorado halfway through high school. I knew she never really outgrew her weeaboo phase, but I didn’t think it would be as bad as it was. We still talked through Facebook often, but she never really brought up anime because she knew I wasn’t interested in it, and hadn’t been in many years. One day she messaged me telling me she was coming back to New York to visit some relatives. Naturally, I was stoked. I love catching up with old friends and thought it would be great to see her again after close to eight years.
Ugh… was I wrong!
Creepy Weeb Girl tries to “Steal my Heart”
[This story is a bit long, I’m sorry. Also, English isn’t my first language, so bare with me.]
I hate people who have fucking “yellow fever.” If you have that shit; don’t bother with me please.
You see, I’ve had my fair share of people harrassing my girlfriends, to the point of death threats being sent to them. And I’m so fucking sick and tired of having girls breaking up with me because of all the unnecessary shit they get for dating me. Now, I’m a simple man, but I would love to punch in some skulls once in a while.
Attending school was kind of hard for me, it was like a whole gulag of jaded teens. However, there were a few bunch that happened to stay cheery, despite the obvious depression floating in the school, these bunches are what you call weeaboos. They stayed in groups under a tree every lunch break, and would bring in katanas, ninja stars and weeb crap every single day .
I hated all of them, every single one. Especially this one girl who’s made my love-life a living hell. Let’s call her Lizzy. I met Lizzy back in 7th grade, where she would be a crazy weeb following me wherever I went. It was fucking scary. She would go, “Joji is my husband, y'know! He’s my boyfriend, so any girl can fuck off! Tee-hee!” which would bring any potential friends for me running to the hills.
By 8th grade, she “properly” confessed to me for Valentine’s Day. She brought me a card, and a small box of homemade chocolate. The card was unreadable, for her sloppy hand-writing didn’t go too well with the over-flowing ink. But I could tell she drew some crappy anime girl, with a winky face.
Her mouth opened,“Joji-senpai… Aishiteru!” I was young and shocked back then, so my initial response was “I don’t date low-lives.” She slapped me in the face, and ran away screaming &l dquo;Baka!” to the girl’s bathroom. She soon started rumors about me amongst her weeb squad, but it never got outside of the group. She told the squad I harrassed her behind the school, and that I verbally abused her.
This gave me a smaller chance of making friends, but when I reached highschool, I had a tremendous amount of friends. Countless acquaintances, a dozen of friends, and only a handful of close friends.
Ever since then, she’s been trying to sabotaging my relationships with any girl I’m with. I’ll never forgive her after she tried to fuck my relationship with my current girlfriend. God, I fucking hate her.
My current girlfriend, let’s call her Jun, is amazingly stunning. Her jet-black hair falls perfectly down her face, her smile could shine brighter than the stars, she was my light that I awaited for in the dark, yada yada yada. (I’m a romantic when it comes to this crap.) Bottom line is that she’s like my s oulmate, I’m so comfortable around her.
And I still wonder why she loves me.
Anyway, on Valentine’s Day, Lizzy found out Jun’s personal e-mail, and anonymously sent death threats that were probably, like, three pages long. This didn’t bother Jun, because she was too much of a badass to step down to Lizzy’s level. However, this harrassement went too far when she started to convince her friend’s to fuck with Jun, too. Now, a boyfriend like me went really low-key defensive for Jun. I started looking out for stalkers following us home, and the likes.
I was over at Jun’s house, listening to some Jazz/ Hip-hop fusion music on blast, while she carefully watered her indoor plants. We had a conversation about God knows what, because at this point, our comfortable levels towards each other were pretty high. We conversed about anything. But this peace was interrupted when we heard a banging on the door downstairs–that’s when shit went down.
Jun said she’d get the door, not wanting to disturb her sleeping father and siblings. I trailed down with her just incase something would happen, and I’m so glad I did. She peaked through the peep-hole to find a box outside. We both thought it was a delivery box, but we were so fucking wrong.
Jun opened the door and instead of a box, she was “glomped” by two dudes from the weeb squad. They started touching her innapropriately, in which I panicked and punched one of them square in the face. She started to scream like a banshee, “RAPE! HELP ME! SEXUAL HARRASSEMENT! PLEASE!” This instantly made her father bolt up to see the comotion, and calls the police.
A week later, we had restraining orders against those two dudes, and Lizzy. We both filed complaints about Lizzy to the school. And to our surprise, this was not her first complaint. Jun found out that Lizzy has been complained about countless of times before. Lizzy’s last chance broke, and was later expelled.
Jun and I finally got our peace of mind.
TL;DR, Lizzy tries to fuck up my shit. Jun’s father is more of a badass than I am.
I often see Hetalia when weaboos are mentioned, but since I haven't been into anime and manga at that time I don't know why these two are often associated with each other. Would you mind telling me what happened?
Hahahahaha… Okay so Hetalia is one of those animes with very short episodes, like 3 minutes long, so it’s easy to digest and binge watch. It has a lot of tropes that weaboos seem drawn to, one of which being that it has a large cast of attractive men. Weaboos love attractive men. They love attractive men who also may or may not be canonically gay, which great for yaoi lovers. It also offers a low level of world history, so they often feel they’re learning something while watching, which can become a basis of superiority when it comes to comparing favorite animes. This is a short answer though. To be honest, with almost any series that gets picked up by weebs, you could write dissertation on, but I feel this about sums it up.